WHY DON’T YOU JUST UNDERSTAND ME?

Clueless blackboard

I was having an email conversation with my brother recently. I’d found this website that does bad translations. As you can expect, we took pop song lyrics, Dr Seuss books, Monty Python sketches and quotes from The Castle and translated them. Badly. With hilarious results.

Britney Spears ‘Baby One More Time’ went from:

“My loneliness is killing me (and I) I must confess I still believe (still believe) When I’m not with you I lose my mind Give me a sign Hit me baby one more time”

to:

“Life(live)wish I’m in a difficult situation(I think)believe, I told you I was crazy. Give me a sign. Your son.

Zeppelin’s Kasmir went from:

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait

to

So, the sun on my face, just sleeping. So, to travel in time and space. Gas station in the middle, it is very rare anywhere in the world, we have to go, because you don’t have a problem Sit tight and wait

How about this gold from The Castle:

There is no one section. It’s just the vibe of the thing.

to:

This is not a problem, but the atmosphere

We all have this inbuilt desire, this longing to be understood. It’s like sometimes we talk to those we love, and the message gets translated 43 times from another language back to English, and the loved one just does not get the message.

Where is this blog going? I’m unsure. I just wanted an excuse to use the Bad Translator. I was hoping to write something kinda profound or significant about the need to be understood, but y’know, I’ve just written six articles about contract cleaning and I’ve got nothing.

So something about I challenge you to listen to others and really hear what they have to say, because who knows, they might have not been listened to in a while.

In all reality, check out the bad translator. Punch a bunch of weird stuff in it and put the results in the comments. Instant internet popularity for the best results.

Image from http://avidly.lareviewofbooks.org/2013/04/30/clueless-and-the-father-of-little-women/

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3 comments

  1. paulfg

    Your words are deep, profound and true. Communication in a language we all think of as the same, often produces confusion, contusion and allusion to war.
    to:
    He said deeply, deeply and sincerely. Language, I think, as usual, began to mix blue the information war.

    Love it!!

  2. Stacy N. Elliott

    I thought I would try my favorite P!nk lyrics “True Love,” and this is the result:

    Original text:

    “At the same time, I wanna hug you I wanna wrap my hands around your neck You’re an asshole but I love you And you make me so mad I ask myself Why I’m still here, or where could I go You’re the only love I’ve ever known But I hate you, I really hate you, So much, I think it must be True love, true love”

    …10 translations later, Yandex gives us:

    “At the same time, I want to hug. I put my hand on the neck I want. But I love you, you bastard. And you’re pissing me off, I ask myself : Why are you still here, I’m there. You never know… But you, you, you, you mrzim mrzim mrzim mrzim I think you should Love, true love.”

    Thanks for the laughs! 😀

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