Do you resent the opportunities you give your kids?

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There’s no doubt that as parents, we want to give our kids the best we can. Education, health, a variety of experiences, clothes and entertainment.

I know as a parent, I’ve sometimes felt the pressure to get my kids more than they need. The bigger Lego set. The fancier doll. More exciting adventures. Sometimes I think I should be giving them more of my time, attention and resources.

Whatever if is you give your child, do you ever sometimes, just sometimes feel an incy-winsy bit resentful of the opportunities you’ve given them? Do you ever wonder, even just for a microsecond that you wish you had the opportunities as a child that you’ve given your child? It’s not a feeling of resentment towards your parents and how they parented you (for the most part).

I’ve been pondering this lately. I’ve noticed a huge increase in the opportunities we’ve given our kids (cue Monty Python’s Four Yorkshiremen sketch here!). Do you sometimes think perhaps your kids should be more grateful? More rounded? Is there an ‘expected return on investment’ when it comes to your children?

Teaching gratitude is another topic all together, and one I’ll leave to the parenting experts.

Over the last year, we’ve been blessed to have season tickets to some theme parks on the Gold Coast. It’s given me the opportunity to interact and judge people watch a great deal of parents and children. The look of excitement as they come through the gates of the theme park. The high level of expectation both parents and children have for the day. The deterioration of the children and the frustration of the parents as the day lingers on.

I know this has been a bit of a rambling blog, but I’m interested. As a parent, have you ever felt resentful that your children have had more opportunities than you? Have you ever thought they may have done more with the resources (time, material goods, experiences etc) you provided them with? As a child, have you ever sensed a resentment in your parents when they’ve been able to provide you with an experience that they never had as a child?

Share your thoughts in the comments!

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18 comments

  1. TJ Petri

    I don’t know what you are talking about. ..I give my kids all that I can out of love, not because I didn’t get that pair of PUMA shoes ( size 8) when I was in 3rd grade. I give the little brats whatever they want.. after all that’s why I work right? To give them a Disney life while I was lucky to go to the dirty pond for entertainment. At any rate I hold no resentment at the cute little buggers..
    tj

  2. giveortake1

    I don’t feel any resentment whatsoever at all – we try and give our daughter the best of everything and hope she benefits from it in the long run, when they are young, they do not appreciate things, I am sure none of us did either growing up but I know I definitely appreciate everything my parents did for me now I am older…

      • aaronwinterhalter

        I had no idea how good I had it, and how much my parents did for me until I was 30 years old and got involved with a women that had 2 children from a previous marriage. I personally go without a lot of things I would like to have or do, just so they can have everything, and yet they still want more. Now I realize my parents must have been doing the same. I was asking for the bigger transformer, while my Dad was taking a 2nd job.

  3. jgarrott

    I didn’t resent what I provided for my daughters (they’re both grown now) but I’ve run into plenty of parents who did seem to resent things. I’ll confess that paying for the private boarding school for their 9~12 grade levels was a real hit, because I’m an independent self-supporting missionary, but God provided. When we really see Him as our Source, then it is a delight to be a channel of His supply to those we love.

  4. Trish

    My kids have had it pretty good. Usually that is great and awesome. The only time it isn’t is when they are arguing about who got more and if we should be giving our youngest less than we do. (She has chosen equestrian sports -Eventing – as her thing and it is very, very expensive). I worry that they aren’t thankful enough sometimes but they are all finding their way in life and being successful. I think it has worked out okay. If they turn into jerks, I’ll let you know.

      • smartytrish

        Oh no… not a princess! More like a tough, independent, mature young woman. Calling her a princess might get you punched. 😉 She drives a truck, hauls a horse trailer, trains 5 or 6 days a week and looks after all her own stuff. Plus makes her own money walking dogs and petsitting, which she started on her own when she was 13. And she trained our 155 pound Boerboel. If she was a princess there’d be no horses. 😉 I know why you’d think that though. I tried to not raise princesses. Yucky. …

  5. carmasurprise

    yes, sometimes I feel I give them my all and have little time for myself. I agree that many kids now a days think things should just be handed to them. They need a dose of gratitude, manners and how to be thankful reminders.

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