My dear Wife,
Thank you for the lovely Valentines Day dinner. Roast lamb, veges and all the trimmings – just beautiful!
My darling, I didn’t realise that when you said ‘no gifts’, you didn’t mean ‘no gifts’. You ment ‘something good’. You weren’t thinking of the lovely gift I got You.
I’m sorry You didn’t like the lovely ironing board cover. I spent hours searching for it and copped a lot of flack from a lot uppity store-clerks when I asked for directions to their ironing board covered.
Darling, what I’m trying to say is that all I’ve heard over the last few months is that the ironing board cover is all ripped and You need a new one. I saw an opportunity to spoil You on this special day by getting You the new ironing board cover and You really don’t seem that appreciative. I didn’t cause a scene when You only got me the 98 piece screwdriver set, when I specifically asked for the 125 piece set.
Perhaps next time you say You ‘don’t want something’, you could put a catalogue on the counter and circle the item that, if I was to spoil You, I’d know what to get. That way we’d avoid this whole situation again.
My darling, regardless of this, I truly did have a wonderful Valentines Day!
After all these years I truly love You more!
With all my love,