The Joint Facebook Account

Like most citizens of the world, I have a Facebook. Yes, I voluntarily hand over personal information and pictures to a private organisation who can use and mis-use my personal information essentially however they want! Privacy concerns aside, I’ve noticed a number of partnered / married friends and associates that have a ‘joint’ facebook account. They squash both their first names in, followed by the family name.

Now don’t get me wrong – I think every relationship needs transparency, openness and honestly. Most couples I know have joint bank accounts, joint mortgages or rental agreements, obviously share the same bed etc etc. But are there things that need to keep uniquely ‘individual’?

I can understand that there are some relationships where fidelity, especially ‘electronic fidelity’ has been an issue and where couples want to protect their relationship by having a joint Facebook account. I’m sure there are a stack of other reasons where couples may want to have a joint Facebook account.

To me, having a joint Facebook account almost says ‘we’ are one homogenous unit. We like the same things, have one ‘united’ comment on everything Facebook related, have the same musical tastes etc etc. I’ve noticed on joint Facebook accounts that the guy usually has a ‘lesser’ presence on the joint Facebook account, compared to the gal. The ‘likes’ are noticeably more feminine, the photos are more noticeably ‘girl’ oriented and the posts are more, well, they are just girlie.

I know for me, I don’t have exactly the same likes as Sarah. Far from it. Musically, we are poles apart. We enjoy the same movies but like very different Facebook posts. She enjoys spending a stack more time on Facebook than I do. For her, it’s an extension to her already organised life. For me, I use it randomly to put up annoying posts and secretly judge others (jokes!). I certainly don’t know how I’d go with a joint Facebook account! I’m sure Sarah’s friends would find it strange if she liked a page about mens razors, and my mates would find it peculiar if I liked a page about Brisbane Mothers or a nappy service!

I’d love to know your thoughts on the joint Facebook account – a necessity for marital honesty? A homogenisation of a relationship? A time-saver?

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19 comments

  1. paulfg

    My wife lurks. Always has. Always will. She suggested she “joint” with my account. Of course darling, here is my password. Six months later she is still lurking on her account and I have changed my password. What’s mine is yours and vice versa. Other than FB.

  2. M. Rose Barnett

    I like the idea here but it just doesn’t mesh for most. I think like the first commenter one or the other spouse just lurks or peeps in on FB to see what’s going on, but they almost never post so they get a joint account. My husband and I had a joint acct just fine. Then we got off FB for a long time and I got back on for writing purposes. There are lots of reasons and marriage does mean that there are many many similarities – you get one you get the other. also it keeps spouses accountable to what they are saying and to whom they are chatting.

  3. widow101

    Well, this probably isn’t the most popular opinion but I tend to think it’s about trust. I have noticed it more and more especially with those who are (relative) newlyweds. I am thinking of one couple in particular where the husband is from a very strict old-school type upbringing. I have no doubt that the wife is doing all the writing, but there is something safer, at least in her mind, about clearly presenting herself as “Mrs.”. All those stories about spouses with secret FB identities are cast aside, or at least that’s what these folks seem to think they are doing, by presenting themselves as one unit. Gosh does that sound cynical? It just seems so odd to me. Kind of like a married couple I used to work with. They drove into work together; they ate lunch together; they took breaks together; it went on and on. I think I would blow my brains out. My husband and I worked in the same office and we didn’t even drive together (apologies to the environmentalists) as we couldn’t agree on the same routes! Too much agita in the morning so we just took separate cars. Same Facebook page? Not likely.

  4. wonkafonka

    I think it is completely NUTS when people share a FB account. When I see that I think:
    1) How am I supposed to tell who’s posting?
    2) Codependent, are we?
    3) You really don’t know how to use Facebook, do you?

  5. ianmooremorrans

    Would you believe? We have a joint webpage. The reason is that my husband Ian is a published author and so I put up the page to publicize his writing and occasionally some of my own thoughts and scribblings. We are both retired. However, he has been in poor health for the past over five years and no longer writes and rarely goes on the computer. I’m his editor and publicist and also a writer myself. A pile of his stories stare me in the face, wanting to be edited. So — I blog, I edit, I publicize, I re-write and slowly I work towards publishing all his writing. He is an octogenarian, so all his stories may not be published in his lifetime; but I persist. As far as Facebook goes – I have the Facebook account but also have an author page off my account bearing his name in which I publicize his writings and keep up a constant sharing of his Scottish interests and posts about writing. He likes to look through his page from time to time and keep abreast of what “he” is posting! It works for us.

  6. sunshinebright

    Never thought about a joint FB account. Very different idea. Thanks for following my blog. Appreciate it.

  7. momfawn

    I find joint Facebook accounts rather annoying. If someone doesn’t have enough gumption to put their own opinion out there under their own individual account/name, (in my less than humble opinion), why bother. Don’t hide under your spouse or significant other’s name. – Fawn

  8. Pingback: Joint Facebook Accounts | missmoodygirl
  9. eurosmash

    i think it’s a little creepy.. because when they “like” something of yours…you never know who is actually liking it. I agree with your view that it’s like they are one homogenized unit. Not reality. That being said, fb can cause SO much drama in relationships…I’ve went dark on fb a few times before, and never regretted it once!

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