Vidins lightens the mood with a sledgehammer
Every day I get literally hundreds of calls, emails and sms-es from my fans. Some of my readers want to ask questions, some throw around scenarios or situaitons and would like my input. Some just want to tell me things about themselves – like get things off their chest. Sadly I can not reply to them all, so I thought I would respond to some of the more common ones.I wont bother re-writing the questions because I think the answers will sum up the question. I hope my responses answer some of the buring questions you have!
1/ Gin and Vodka are my favoriate spirits. I am also partial to cider and draught beer
2/ I would try it, but only if I was drunk at a lot of lube was used
3/ Yes mum, I will be home for dinner (this is probably the most common answer to questions received by sms)
4/ Yes I have spent time in a Turkish prison, but that was a long time ago and no, I don’t want to go into the details.
5/ I agree with you on that one, yes. You should only really need to open the door for a good looking chick. I like your point on opening the door for someone that looks like they have a good looking single daughter between the ages of 18 – 29, too. Kudos for thinking outside the box!
6/ No I don’t think it is her. It is actually you.
7/ I think we should have this conversation once you lose about 45 kgs and find a job. Then I will consider being your wingman.
8/ No mum, I have not been drinking.
9/ Frankly I am concerned that you know that Baygon can be used to get rid of crabs, but thanks for the advice anyway.
10/ I am glad that my guide to modern office dressing has prevented that distracting legal action. Who would have thought that wearing pants around the office would stave off a sexual harrasment claim!
11/ When I said that I like bikinis, I ment them on women, not men. NEVER send me those pics again.
12/ Off the record, yes, I like Owl City.
13/ No, its not gay if you were the wife in prison. Although you may have trouble donating blood now.
14/ Those ponies don’t belong to you!
15/ Mum, I have no idea how those magazines got under my bed
16/ I agree. I don’t know how they expect to become wives if they cant cook borscht or starch a collar.
17/ No, I think it is still legal to go after communists with a lynch mob, but only if you webcam it.
18/ Yes, on second thoughts, storming that embassy was a bad idea. But you have to agree – leaving those fish heads in the storm-water drain will be the gift that keeps on giving long after my restraining order has expired!
19/ That is a hard one. I think scraping my face with sandpaper would still be less painful then shaving with an Aldi razor.
20/ I think splashback is inevitible regardless of the toilet design. Sadly, it is just a problem that us modern men have to face with poise and dignity.
Well dedicated readers, I hope that answers some of the outstanding questions you have!